– The Abandoned Empress Vol 1. Ch 2. Part 1 –
“I’m sorry Tia. I am really sorry.”
The next day, I looked up to the woman who came back from the morning without fail and turned the inside upside down.
Please, can not you quit rude attitude that come out suddently without notice? I tried to push back my sore head like crack and tried to speak with expressionless face.
“What are you saying, Your Majesty Empress?”
“I am sorry Tia. Really, I am really sorry.”
Then do some work. Yesterday, she asked me if it was conclave and turned it upside down. Why did she do it today?
What did you do all night, I was crying out loud as I looked at her face with a dull face. While it was the feeling that I want to hit even if it was yelling.
What are you sorry about? Do I have to do all dirty things you do? What did you do at Imperial Palace?
Or that pathetic example of yours that does not improve even though you learn it? Can not you just stop now? If you did not come to try my parience, do it as appropriate, please.
“I, I mean….”
“…..”
“I heard that you originally nominated for the Empress. As soon as you was born, you heard that you was a fiancee who was married to Ru.”
Ah, the news was fast. Yeah. It is now half a year since she became an Empress that known by everyone in my country.
“Sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“….”
“I really am.”
“Your Majesty has nothing to apologize for.”
“What are you talking about?”
I just wanted to hear it, but I tried to send it out from one ear to other.
Whether it was morning or because of the head that keeps pounding, i did not even know it.
“Your Majesty Empress was ordained by God. Therefore, it is true that the Empress, the child of trust, is your majesty’s companion. It is just we were ignorant and misinterpreting the will of God.”
Someday it was what he said. He misintrerpreting the oracle and mistook her as me and his side was originally her place.
“How can you talk so easily?”
“What are you talking about, Your Majesty Empress?”
“God? God decide Empress? Empress! What does God decide to do?”
What? At the moment, time was stopped.
She staring blankly at me, and shouting as if she supported evil.
“How can you say it so obviously? Are you not angry?”
Do you think I am taking it for granted?
Does it seems in your eyes that I do jot get angry but rather accept the reality?
“Empress? Ha! I did not even want to be this one. One day I found coin on my way home and I fell into this world. Suddently I fell into the pond and I see it as strange to people wear odd clothes like Westerners are cosplaying. Do not you ever write a language you can not listen to? How did the conversation go? I said,’ This place is not where I lived, but God send me’.” She shouted
I can not understand what she is saying at all.
She shouted, “I do not want to be the Empress.”
“I am only 19 y.o (Ji Eun is 19 y.o in Korea, and Tia is 18 y.o in Castinaga’s age) and not yet an adult. But he told me to marry him.”
“……”
“Empress? I do not want this kind of thing. I just want to go home. I was able to endure it until I got back, but I did not want to do it, but I studied hard in writing and writing.”
Inside, the angry feeling was gradually growth. My hand that gripped the dress started to shiver.
“But you, like my sister, know that you were the emperor and the empress. I did not become an Empress because of me. I am in a bad situation right now, and now have become my bad year. Empress, What is it?” [EksX : Ji Eun adress her self as Tia’s sister]
“Now, have you had enough?”
Something seemed to be breaking in my head. I looked coldly at the black-haired girl who was breathing roughly.
And she imediately spit out her lips as if she chewed it out.
“What id the Empress say? It is the hostess of the emire. It is not your position to say that.”
“Tia….”
I turned her away with trembling eyes. i though I should not do this, but I was increasingly inundated with the anger that soared to the head.
“Did you just want to go back? Did you just say sorry now that I was aware of my presence? You are sorry that you took the place of the Empress, did you say that you evome a bad person and it is hard? If so, why did you say you would become the Empress from the begining?”
“That’s….”
“It is really cowardly. I did not know anything. I think you might have had a hard time declining. But at least you should be responsible for your decision?”
I breathed a rough breath. Now I have poured out some of the emosion that I have kept in my mind for the girl who is shaking her body. [I guess Ji Eun crying]
“If you were going to be an Empress, uou should at least be aware of what the place is. Writing? Form? Tough but forced? Did the Empress looked so gorgeous? It is the mother of all my people. You are the only only companion and a place to rest for Your Majesty. It is not a place to sit down to think about going back every day like that.”
“I….”
Did you say I am not angry? I am indeed angry. I pity my Emperor and my people. Above all, I pity myself. I have spent many years trying to help this person.”
“…..”
“Go back. I do not want to see such a thing. I hope you will be aware of the position of the Empress.”
My whole body trembling because of hatred. I could not stand because I was so tired of myself.
It was only because of this woman that she had to e the choise of the Emperor. What made him choose a woman like her instead of me? What was so lovely about her?
“Tia, I….”
“Tell me.”
“I was confused because I suddenly fell into a strange place…”
She hesitated for a while and said.
“It was too obvious where I was and was hard to accept the fact that she had another wife. The fact is that you were like my sister. I’m stuck between two people.”
“……”
“Sorry. That makes me come in vain. I am really sorry.”
“….”
“Just go away…”
I was sighing with tiredness. Suddently she poured off her anger and press her temples with both hands. I took a deep breath to keep up rough breath.
I was confident that I can control my emotion. Strangely enough, I have been constantly getting angry lately.
Why? It is not a day or two.
Seeing the pile of paper piled up again, my chest become cold again. Emmy Bondi is going to have to deal with it, and that woman who does not even have any awareness of my status. The privilege of the Empress and his love, was full of confusion over the pathetic nature of having to enjoy it and not have obligation to do so.
How long has it been? And I heard the noise of the door opening loudly.
His figure standing up to the end of his head. What did you come here for? I was wondered, but I got up and bowed my back.
“The sun of the empire, The Emperor….”
*smack
‘It is in the front of him. You can not show an ugly shape.’
He stared at me for a long time and said in a cold voice.
“What did you say to Ji Eun? Did you say that you are a legiminate empress?”
“No, Your Majesty.”
“But why is Ji Eun crying? Why do you ask her to go?”
“That’s…”
Suddenly the speech was blocked. I did not know what to say. While hesitating, he already convinced that I would have poured bitter word to her.
When I came face to face with cold eyes that looked down upon me with scornful eyes, I feel like my heart empty, as always.
That’s not it. I was blamed because of her, but she did not. It was heartbreaking, but I have never seen her as me since she appeared.
No, actually I was there before she showed up. He had never been warm to me.
“Do you want to be my girl?”
“Your Majesty?”
“What is it? I know that love is never be as the reason. A cold woman like you who does not even cries when slaps at cheek can not love me. So what? Monique is still enjoying a lot of movies, but there will be no reason to be an empress for her family. What is the reason for this? It is also to give birth to the next emperor?”
Every word he uttered was nailed in her chest. I was just trying not to get caugh up by those who were trying to catch my flaws during the time I tried to stand by him.
She wanted to be a woman who could love him even if she could not be loved, but a woman who could help his work.
“Take off.”
“What?…”
I doubted my ears with unexpected words. When I looked up with trembling eyes, I saw strange bundles of eyes. A lot of twists and turn make it creepy.
“If you want to be my girl, I will make you my girl.”
“Your Majesty?”
“Why pretend to hesitate? Did not you was hoping for this and you say it?”
“No, Your Majesty! Do not do this! Please!”
I tried to escape from his grabbing my arm, and decided not to do this. I was so afaid of his appearance of stripping my clothes like a torn by hand. My dread raised to the tip of my chin.
The moment I tried to struggle to shake off gis roughly haulinh hands, an unexpected though came into my head.
The fact that he has never been to place where he once build. I do not know why, but it was a story from a maid who was watching her.
“If so…”
My whole body was shaken by sudden though. If I accept him now, will not he think of me a little bit? If i had a child, would not it turn him around? Is not he a person who grew up lonely without point.
If I have a baby wih my blood, how cold will iy be for him to give it to me for a little bit?
I stopped acting slowly. I tried to calm my heart that was running like a crazy in fear, and I breath a litte. With trembling lips, she said, in somber tone.
“Although it is not, I am a queen. This is not right. I will take off my self, please respect.”
“The queen? Do you want to say that your position now is the most beloved person by the Emperor? Ha, when you’re in that position, it looks like you are really doing something, but do not mistake it. You are nothing to me.”
He looked at me with cold eyes and he caught me roughly. I closed my eyes in the hand of stripping clothes. I was shivering in fear but I kept it dowb with cool touches.
One day I imagined a day to be with hi., but it never this way. His face looked so cold that her heart was tearing apart.
I can not look at the eyes that not filled with emotion. I clodes my eyes again.
Even if it is cold right now, it will improve gradually. When I blend my body like this, even though he has no feelings, I was aching and anguished in a careless hand, but I bite the trembling lips and endured it. She just accepted and accepted him.
How much time has passed? I stared at him blankly, leaving me without a fuss. The droplets of tears came out from the twillight blurred eyes and I swept away the still-warmed side.
I wish I could feel the warmth someday.
*****
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